Of Crime and Punishment

20 Dec

As I’ve confessed before, I get  hooked to watching serials involving criminal investigations. Nowadays , I watch “Criminal Minds” .  In this series,the “Behavioural Analysis Unit “ of the FBI , works on narrowing down on the perpetrators of crimes with the help of behavioural clues  that the “Un Subs” or Unidentified suspects leave behind  through the nature of the crimes, the weapons used, the degree and kind  of torture involved, the profile(s) of the victims they choose and so on.


It must be stressful for people working on such cases throughout their careers , who  would be becoming  aware of the immenseness of the violence and intensity of negative feelings that lurk in the human minds and the circumstances that lay the seeds and the factors that contribute  to their growth and ultimate fruition , if one may call it that.  One of the actors Mandy Patinkin , who was playing the role of  Senior  Supervisory Special Agent , Jason Gideon, chose to leave the show  because he was deeply disturbed by all that was being portrayed  in it. His departure was written into the script  in the same way…..the letter left behind him  in that particular episode  mentioned that he could no longer make any sense of it all.


There was one particular episode,” Open Season”,  in which the team was investigating a series of murders in  a National Forest, just before the start of the hunting season. The victims appeared to have been running away from someone …hunted down like animals  and shot down with a bow and arrow. The perpetrators , it turned out,  were two young boys, who had been orphaned when they were five or six and had been brought up by an uncle, who never sent them to school or allowed any kind of social interaction.  All that they learnt of right and wrong  was from the only adult in their lives…this uncle ,  a distorted human being himself. Agent Gideon explains to his colleague how easy it would be for the boys  to do what they did, considering that affirmation of their worth  in their eyes, depended solely on the approval of their uncle   and the fact that the moral compass was totally lacking in their lives.


There is a scene in this episode where one of the boys is wounded  and  when Agent Gideon reaches him,  he whisperingly begs that his brother not be shot at , as he was the only one he had in his life and the  officer gently strokes his forehead and consoles him saying, “it’s okay son, it’s okay”.


I had mentioned about the  film “Human” in a recent blog…..a series of interviews with a cross-section of people all over the world talking about their experiences with  love, forgiveness, poverty, war , loneliness and so on. The first part of this series, begins with Leonard  from U.S.A  and what he had learnt about love. This is what he said:

“ I remember my stepfather . He would beat me with extension cords and hangers and pieces of wood and all kinds of stuff . After every beating , he would tell me,”it hurt me more than it hurt you” and “I only did it because I love you “. It communicated the wrong message to me about what love was. So for many years, I thought love was supposed to hurt and I hurt everyone that I loved and I measured love by how much pain someone would take from me. And it wasn’t until I came to prison, in an environment that is devoid of love that I came to have some sort of understanding about what it was and was not.  ….and I met someone and she gave me my first real insight into what love was,  because she saw past my condition and the fact that I was in prison with a life sentence for murder , not only murder, but the worst kind of murder that a man can do , murdering a woman and child. …and it was Agnes, the mother and grandmother of Patricia and Chris, the woman and the child that I murdered who gave me my best lesson about love because by all rights, she should hate me. But she didn’t and over the course of time and through the journey that we took….it has been pretty amazing….she gave me love…..and….and  (he grows silent here and the tears stream down his cheeks…) she taught me what it was.


As I read   reports and reactions in the newspapers, TV channels and in the social media , about  the juvenile  who was one of those  in the gang who committed the horrendous rape and murder  of a young girl on a Winter’s night  in Delhi  three years ago,in a moving bus,   being allowed to walk free, I try to sift through my own emotions . I can gauge the pain of the father, though unable to internalise it completely, who wanted to give his daughter all possible opportunities in life to go ahead ; I can empathise with the mother  who would be living through the pain her daughter suffered many times over , every time she dwelt on that fateful night.  At times, anger comes welling up  from the guts like puke  with the knowledge  that such incidents make all parents  become fearful  for the safety of their daughters  and that the only way they can handle their fears, in a country like ours,  is by making their movements  more restrictive.


And yet, when I read in the papers today , about the people in the boy’s village in Badaun District in U.P, describing him as a good boy , who never got into any fights   during the time he lived in the village, of his mentally unstable father and of his mother  for whom the only source of livelihood was the money he sent her after moving to Delhi, of the tiny hutment  which didn’t even have a proper roof till last year, of his siblings who are only eight and ten years old,   I wonder about all of the circumstances that had directed his life to move away from that village which is still ready to forgive and accept him back into their fold and  to befriend the others  and participate in that horror.


How did he lose his moral compass ? Is he alone responsible?

If I was in his place would I have been different?

Would I seek and hope for forgiveness?

Would I change as a human being if I was forgiven or would I be emboldened to repeat ?

Would others be emboldened ?

Is fear of punishment to be the only factor that will remove the existence of crimes?

Like Agent Gideon, I find  that  I can no longer make sense of all that’s going on.

All I know is this…that even as I hate what he did….I’ll  find it immensely easier to  think about it if I learnt that Nirbhaya’s parents forgave him .



Tags: , , , , , , , ,

9 responses to “Of Crime and Punishment

  1. Sue Dreamwalker

    December 24, 2015 at 8:26

    There are so many horrendous crimes in the world Nadira, and I remember this crime, and it was more than an evil rape.. and I often wonder how I too would have felt had it been my daughter.. Would I want justice? would I want revenge? would I want those who did such crimes to suffer as she did?

    I often have to remove myself and take myself out of ‘Feeling’ as I often feel and see too much.. And so like you I wonder what drives others to kill, maim and hate ,

    I am pleased you also are viewing the crime from the other’s perceptive.. Yes what motivates such actions? and what leads someone to a point of participating in such a crime.. From which point did this young man change.. Was it the friends he hung around with? was he trapped within wanting to feel he fitted in and so went along with his friends..

    So many souls caught up within a swirl of emotions.. Those who abuse others, those who are dependant upon their addictions.. each soul seeking, searching.. wanting to find something, someone to fit in to feel they belong … To feel loved..

    And in most cases I see, it is about LOVE.. the lack of, the possession of, the jealousies of.. The wanting to belong.. and Be accepted and Loved..

    My heart feels very sad at times my friend.. But I know LOVE is stronger.. and will shine through ..

    Wishing you a very Happy Christmas Season and a very Happy New Year Nadira..

    Love and Blessings Sue ❤

    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 20, 2016 at 8:26

      Yes Sue…it is always about love…though the individual himself may not really understand that. Yes , I too feel immensely sad at times, thinking about the huge lack in those lives that are bereft of love.
      I’m so very late inacknowledging your good wishes. I’m so, so sorry about that. Love and hugs 🙂

      • Sue Dreamwalker

        February 22, 2016 at 8:26

        Please do not worry at all Nadira.. Yes there is still a lot we need to learn… and I learn daily.. 🙂 love your way my friend, and enjoy your week ❤

  2. belasbrightideas

    December 22, 2015 at 8:26

    I wonder if you’ve seen the series “Scandal,” a Shonda Rhimes masterpiece. The plots are enough, but the twists and turns the characters take really teases out a spectrum rarely seen in today’s film. That being said, I can only imagine what these rapes bring out in the Indian people – and your questions are poignant and wise. For none of us exists without shadow. Blessings.

    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 20, 2016 at 8:26

      Thank you for the visit and comments Bela. No I haven’t seen that series. May I’ll ask my son to download it for me when he next comes on leave.

      Yes …none of us exists in absolute light. Who are we to judge. May we find forgiveness ourselves , as they may.

  3. P C Jain

    December 20, 2015 at 8:26

    While I complement U for your your sensitivity with which U have dealt with the incident I join U to support your concluding remark.

    • K Gangadharan

      February 10, 2016 at 8:26

      A moral compass perhaps needs magnetic poles too – forces of equal and opposing power. Like love and hate
      And perhaps the pole that one is closer to decides the direction.
      It must be terrible to grow up unloved, and lose all sense of purpose except to please or be pleased. As is said, to understand everything is to forgive everything.

      • dreamingthruthetwilight

        February 20, 2016 at 8:26

        Thanks for your visit dear friend. Yes, it must surely be the saddest thing for a human being to grow up unloved. An individual who has grown up without any sense of self worth is most likely to lose direction and we could well be in that person’s shoes . That thought should make us a little less judgemtnal perhaps, although that’s easier said than done.

    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 20, 2016 at 8:26

      Thank you Jainsaab. I’m sorry for the late response. I hadn’t logged on here for quite a while.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: