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Glimpses on the way

06 May

Earth, fresh furrows and the rain
Patches of ripe grain
Bending under the shower
A solitary eagle
Scaling the skies
In the distance

Dark dense clouds
Hanging over the river
A group of mules
Plodding up and down a pit
Cloth bags on their sides
Carrying shovelled mud

Eyes complacent
Soft and patient
They toil away
No questions asked
No demands
No attempt to break away

An old man, a woman with child
A young urchin in rags
Huddling beside a fire
Near an embankment
The mood- wistful longing?
Or just calm acceptance?

Submitted to:http://thursdaypoetsrallypoetry.wordpress.com/

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31 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2011 in Poetry

 

31 responses to “Glimpses on the way

  1. dunstancarter

    May 12, 2011 at 8:26

    Good stuff – thanks for the read. I love that opening line, “Earth, fresh furrows and the rain”.

     
  2. moonscribbles

    May 12, 2011 at 8:26

    i love the 3rd stanza the most……..this is a nice read, continue writing πŸ™‚

     
  3. Jingle

    May 12, 2011 at 8:26

    Hello,
    Appreciate your participation at poets rally,
    Please return favor to poets who are here yet you did not reach them initially,
    Bless your day.
    Have fun!

    LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE DONE…
    πŸ˜‰ SIMPLY LEAVE A COMMENT UNDER THE POST.

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      May 13, 2011 at 8:26

      I have read and commented on more than 18. I did comment below that post. Not sure if it is showing up. Thank you once again JIngle. This is a lovely forum to read and and share.

       
  4. Judy

    May 10, 2011 at 8:26

    Your vivid images placed me in the midst of this scenery. Lovely poem.

     
  5. jennirey

    May 9, 2011 at 8:26

    Very nice imagery in this.. I wondered if you were working from a picture.. I like the one my mind made up…thank you for sharing

    Cheers~ Jen

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      May 13, 2011 at 8:26

      Impressions recorded while travelling on a train, actually. I stay in Delhi for most part of the year and go back to the place I gre up in, which is in Kerala. It is a two day long journey if you take the train and the route takes me along the Western Ghats . In the rainy season, the scenery outside is really enchanting and I spend many hours just staring out of the window.:-)

       
  6. nithvarma

    May 8, 2011 at 8:26

    Liked your poem very much. Especially the last two lines. But some things which I found contradictory are the following.
    1. Eagles are usually not seen flying when the sky is covered with rain clouds.
    2. It is difficult to keep a fire lit when it is raining.

    All these could be noticed only because you drew the scene with your words too well!!! I hope you will take my comments in a positive sense. πŸ™‚ You can see my post at http://periwinkler.wordpress.com/

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      May 8, 2011 at 8:26

      Thank you for the detailed feedback. Actually , I had just jotted this down while looking out of the window in a moving train. Hence the apparent inconsistencies. But thank you for reading it so closely.:-)Am stepping over to your blog now:-)

       
  7. mindlovemisery

    May 8, 2011 at 8:26

    I can visualize every moment!

     
  8. The Reason You Come

    May 8, 2011 at 8:26

    I like how you painted the images of the surroundings and the people in the scene you witnessed. Through your words, I could almost see them.

     
  9. k2king

    May 7, 2011 at 8:26

    A beautiful description of a far off place, or is it? The dark clouds took me over the embankment, but it ended with a more positive question.

     
  10. Andy

    May 7, 2011 at 8:26

    Prose or poem, you did a nice job with this one.
    I especially like how you ended it.

    Thanks for sharing.

     
  11. Isabel

    May 7, 2011 at 8:26

    lovely. love the questions you asked and the imagery you described

     
  12. BUTTERFLIES OF TIME

    May 6, 2011 at 8:26

    Nature’s bounties and Man’s aspirations–both connected so well! I loved the peaceful and calm reasoning and the reassuring picture of the toils of a day! enjoyed the poem’s wistful beauty very much.

     
  13. Jingle

    May 6, 2011 at 8:26

    welcome to poets rally, smiles…

    well constructed work, thanks for sharing..

    Happy Mother’s Day to Moms around you. Blessings..

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      May 6, 2011 at 8:26

      Your prompting made me take out those jottings and re-arrange it for the Rally. So thanks to you:-)

       
  14. K. McGee

    May 6, 2011 at 8:26

    Strong images. I appreciate how you left the question unanswered, leaving the reader to reach their own conclusion.

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      May 6, 2011 at 8:26

      Thanks. Hadn’t really intended this to be a poem. It’s more of prose being broken up to resemble a poem:-) But am sure glad you folks like it.

       
  15. Sajeevs blog

    May 6, 2011 at 8:26

    A beautiful poem..very vivid description of nature and peaceful, contented people:)

     
  16. Peggy Nolan

    May 6, 2011 at 8:26

    I really like this poem but I don’t think you need the last two lines. Allow the reader to feel what they feel when they read your words. Good work!

     

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