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I’m too old to be young and too young to be old

12 Apr

“I’m too young to be old and too old to be young . I think I’m going crazy”,  that is what Evelyn(Kathy Bates) tells Ninny(Jessica Tandy) , the old lady she befriends in the nursing home  in the film “Green fried tomatoes”, which I watched some time  ago.

Remember that old Beatles number, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty four?” Clearly one is supposed to feel vulnerable and derelict by that age and I am  only less than ten years away from it now. Honestly though, I feel ages away from feeling helplessly old .

And I wonder,  is mental aging a conditioned thing? I have young friends  who have parents in my age group telling me that the fact that I am active on Facebook and blogging comes as a big surprise considering my age .

I think our society is obsessed with role playing . We are supposed to be behaving in the manner laid down and any digression from the same comes across as a reason  for raised eyebrows , shock  or in the case of those with a more generous  outlook , as pleasant surprise.

I remember an incident a long time ago when I was may be twenty six or so . A group of us friends had gone on a trip with our families. It was masti time  for us young mothers and the other girl friends  who weren’t married then . The females shared a big room and the men were left to their own company. I can’t remember what led to my impulsive act of turning a summersault on the bed and the next thing I knew was that my daughter had burst into tears!:-) I think the jolt the  act gave to my  “mother image”  scandalized her baby sensibilities .

Truth be told, I don’t think  children  get out of that even after growing up, which is perhaps why youngsters are as a general rule, embarrassed  when parents become publicly visible at Parents’ –teachers’ meetings. Teenaged boys  in particular ,  I think,  would rather choose to be found dead than have to accompany their mothers to a public place .

It’s strange  how these concepts that bind us down. I find so much pleasure in communication  and being aware of all that is going on around me. Why on earth should anyone want to fetter one’s mental agelessness ? On the other hand , we don’t mind going to extreme lengths to try and maintain our physical ly aging cells , which is an inevitability that you just have to come to terms with, do what you will.

Kerala has an increasing number of old age homes now and I’m sure that is going to be a normal and socially acceptable thing in times to come. We may shy away from that idea but it may be the best practical thing with the family structure gradually becoming less closely knit than before and the children wanting to have their own spaces and their own direction in leading their lives. I think we should begin to redefine the aging process  and stop thinking of ourselves as   old  baggages to be confined to some dusty corner and realize our potential  for continuing to be  productive in society . Communes wouldn’t be a bad idea other.

Anyways,  I too think I’m too old to be young, but I’m enjoying the phase because I’m too young to be old:-)

I hope you can hear me humming…”Abhi toh mein jawaan hoon”

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12 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2011 in Movies, Nostalgia, Personal

 

Tags: , , , , ,

12 responses to “I’m too old to be young and too young to be old

  1. Nina Trema

    October 24, 2016 at 8:26

    I discovered your blog thanks to the quote from Fried Green Tomatoes, and I love every bit of this post. I am forty, currently, and ready to plan my next 20 years. I want to be alive until my last breath. Towanda! Towanda! 🙂

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      October 24, 2016 at 8:26

      Thank you Nina. Glad you could relate. What does Towanda mean?

       
      • Nina Trema

        October 24, 2016 at 8:26

        In the movie, and in the book is the name of a made up goddess of wild femininity, Towanda the warrior

         
  2. rob Smith

    October 7, 2014 at 8:26

    Nice.
    just saw the film.
    it’s a good line.

     
  3. karli

    February 23, 2013 at 8:26

    what page was this “im too young to be old and too old to be young” on?

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 24, 2013 at 8:26

      I didn’t get you Karli . This is my blogpage and this is where it is.. If you mean “category” , it’s posted under “movies”, “nostalgia” and “personal”.

       
  4. shilpa menon

    February 10, 2013 at 8:26

    Iam a Teresian who just bumped into your blog through Facebook.Iam feel so warm and comfortable in this space.I truly enjoyed reading your write ups….This particular blog says so much about you and I wish so many beautiful women I know thought like you.Please keep blogging

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 24, 2013 at 8:26

      Thanks a lot Shilpa. It sure makes me beam when someone responds to my writing in the way you have. I then tell myself…”somewhere along the ramblings and meanderings , you must have written something right”.

       
  5. Neema

    November 17, 2011 at 8:26

    Something in this makes me think of my own mother. She’s in her early 50’s, healthy,beautiful and definitely looks like she’s in her early 40’s. She is any day more energetic than I am. Well read and has an opinion. But conditioning has been such that she is forever careful to conduct herself in certain mannerisms, confine herself to a lot of pre determined moulds and does not allow many a joy to touch her for fear of looking like an old woman tryin to ‘act’ young….Do I make sense ? Its like she is pushing herself to old age when clearly her body and mind is not ready to succumb :S

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 24, 2013 at 8:26

      I totally understand what you’re saying Neema. . Getting over that “fear ” factor is a huge challenge in itself. Somewhere along the struggle one realises that one’s foremost loyalty should be to one’s self.

       
  6. shami

    April 12, 2011 at 8:26

    Enjoyed reading this a lot, Nadi. So true. In my case its my daughter who gets all tensed up when her friends plan to come over and she gives me a long lecture on how I should behave and what to wear etc etc…
    I love squeezing in when they have fun time, but she just wont let me.. “Mom, don’t act childish.Leave us alone!’

    As you said: “Too old to be young and too young to be old!

     
    • dreamingthruthetwilight

      February 24, 2013 at 8:26

      Thanks for reading Shami.I’m way delayed in responding to your comment. Really sorry about that. I’ve becoming a granny in the meanwhile , but still feel the same way.:-)

       

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