I was feeling quite buoyant on my way back from the market. The carrier of my bicycle was loaded with all kinds of shopping that I had done. There was a kurta which I would try on as soon as I got back home. There were vinegar , soya sauce and tomato sauce bottles which I was going to use , to make a nice chicken dish for my son, some vegetables and so on.
I’ve always had this tendency to allow my mind to wander off once I am seated in a vehicle. I’ve come to the conclusion that that is the reason why I am so bad with directions. I tend to lose my way even in places that I have visited many times. So many times , while in a bus , I have come to my senses one or two stops after the place where I was supposed to get down. Happens regularly even now , while coming back on the metro train from Delhi to Noida. Sometimes one has to get down at a place called Yamuna back to board a Noida bound train and I just travel onwards , my mind playing on its own merry go round. Thankfully, one can get back and resume the onward journey without having to pay more, thanks to the way they have programmed their tokens.
Well , it’s no different when I am riding my bicycle. The short distances that I travel on it fortunately does not allow for too many mishaps. Well, here I was riding back with many cross currents swirling about in my ganglions. It was hot and I was thinking ..these sunscreen lotions are just another way of taking us women for a ride. They don’t do anything for the tan. No wonder you can see more and more young girls now venturing out with their faces masked completely with scarves. I had noticed that phenomenon for the first time when I visited Pune three or four years ago. I had then thought they were all muslim girls wearing the hijab. Now it has caught on here in Delhi and its precincts as well.
And then my mind skipped on to the Shah Rukh Khan advertisement , where he was smugly recommending a fairness cream exclusively for men! What happened to the tall, DARK hero whose handsomeness we all fantasized about in our Mills and Boon days? Don’t young girls read them anymore ? I’ve seen men wearing elbow length gloves too, while riding their bikes just like us females. Kind of sissy, I think. Anyways….
And then for some reason I started thinking of the Facebook faceoff in Pakistan some time ago and got to wondering how the Prophet would have reacted had he been around. I’ve read that the had quite a nice sense of humour. There was a photo in the newspapers in which the protestors were carrying a poster which said “kill those who insult Islam” . Who was insulting who, I thought . This holier than thou attitude actually insults the Prophet and what he stood for.
From there my mind dwelt for a while on the film “Bruce Almighty” starring Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman , which I had really enjoyed watching . It is kind of nice to think of God who has a nice sense of humour.
Then my mind went into a swoon of self endorsement. Here I was cycling to and from the market etc. I was saving at least eighty rupees a day which I would otherwise have spent on Rikshaws. My health was okay too etc. etc.( It wouldn’t be prudent to give you all the details. I wouldn’t like to spoil my image more than is called for).
Okay. So I reach home and open the door , my hands laden with all the stuff . Just inside, some of it drops to the ground. Yeah you guessed right. All the bottles cracked .
My house is now smelling just like the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant. There are huge stains on the floor where the vinegar spread.
Does God have a sense of humour or what? All that time I was giving myself those certificates of commendation God was probably muttering, “ just you wait, you pompous female, just you wait” .